Are you in love with love? Love addiction is real!

Falling in love is a natural condition, as old as humanity. However, both men and women can suffer from too much of what should be a good thing. Psychologists identify a certain type of unhealthy dependency on love as love addiction.

There are a number of causes, but the bottom line is that people suffering from love addiction do not love from the heart, but with the mind. This is not to say that platonic relationships belong in this category. It’s that some people are so enamored with being in love, that they must be in a love relationship, no matter what the cost. Unfortunately, the cost is always emotional and sometimes physical.

Typically, people with love addiction are also quite insecure in their own self esteem. They may not feel adequate or worthy of love, yet are so starved for affection, they will nurture a most unhealthy relationship for the sake of love. Love addiction is not gender specific. Both men and women put up with gross abuse from their so-called love partner just in order to avoid being alone. Some go after a man or woman with money, even though they are not in love, reasoning that they can ‘learn’ to love someone who can provide the means for a stylish lifestyle.

In some cases, both parties are victims of the love addiction syndrome. Each has low self esteem, but brings something to the love table which they hope will keep the other entranced. Perhaps the man is lacking in looks, is domineering and desires control, while the woman is attractive, but with childhood abuse in her past that has damaged her emotionally. The man in this scenario derives satisfaction by having an attractive woman he can control. The woman falls prey to this man who says he loves her, thinking him a ‘strong’ man who rescues her from spinsterhood. The fact is that neither person truly loves the other. Each is perpetuating a situation which is in their emotional comfort zone, allowing them to go through the motions of being in love.

You may have met couples like this, wondering just what they see in each other. This type of relationship is always dependent on having someone, anyone, in their life.

Should a love addicted personality be faced with the end of a relationship, desperation sets in quickly. This individual tends to form new relationships in a heartbeat. Without the veneer of love in their life, they feel lost and alone.

The more secure and self confident you are, the less likely it is that you will fall into a love addiction cycle. As love addicts become older, their relationships grow ever more superficial.

This is not what love should be! If you find yourself chasing love to the exclusion of all else, you’d be wise to seek the services of a psychologist. You need to learn to overcome your insecurities. True love is a wonderful experience.

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Learning how to deal with anger is a tricky business

It’s an unfortunate fact of life in today’s society that anger is a major cause of unhappiness and can result in disastrous results. Whether you are the recipient of another’s anger, or you’re the one dishing it out, anger does no one any good. In either case, learning how to deal with anger is not a simple subject.

Every day, we hear of an incident of ‘road rage’ or a school shooting. Such things were unheard of just a couple of decades ago. Now they are almost commonplace. Why has the syndrome of anger become so irrational? Is it simply a lack of discipline?

Our fast-paced and stressful environments makes everyone vulnerable to the problems anger produces. There’s no simple answer. However, there are some techniques you might employ to diffuse the effects.

Here’s a simple example of how to deal with anger you might encounter at the grocery store. You’re standing at the deli counter, waiting your turn. “Next, please!” You step up to place your order. Another customer decides that you’ve cut in front of them and proceeds to lay into you. “I was here first!” You need to understand that this person is venting. It has nothing to do with you. Who knows what has caused their frustration to exceed civility? Your best bet here is to let it go. Returning anger for anger leads nowhere. If you respond with, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were here before me”, that frustrated person is mollified and may even feel guilty that they came off on you. Unless the two minutes it costs you to accede places you in a catastrophic bind, what’s the problem?

You can probably think of a thousand such examples. People who exhibit such irrational anger are usually frustrated individuals who feel they lack power. Confronting you offers an opportunity for them to gain a feeling of superiority. Let them have it. Maybe that simple act will alleviate some of their frustration.

In such everyday interactions, you might cajole, sympathize or make a good joke to diffuse the anger. If this method of how to deal with anger doesn’t work, just dust your feet off and leave it behind.

If you’re the one dishing out the anger, think before you speak. Sometimes the best course of action is to be quiet and take a ‘time out’ just like you recommend to your kids. Think of the consequences of mouthing off. Once you’ve said your piece, you can’t take it back.

If you are the one who doesn’t know how to deal with anger and it’s a consistent problem, consider taking an anger management course. Self help books on anger management may be another viable alternative. Don’t let anger control your life.

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Gift Baskets for Men CAN be a Manly Gift

Buying gifts for men can be difficult. Buying for women is so much easier! You know the routine. “Dad, what would you like for your birthday?” “Oh, I really don’t need anything, but thanks! A birthday cake will be fine.” Hmm. Men are so reluctant to give you a clue and they typically do not admit there’s anything they need or want. So, before you go out and get him another tie, check out these ideas for some macho gift baskets for men. You can make it yourself or purchase online.

When you’re brainstorming the gift baskets for men concept, you want to define the basket part loosely. Think of this as an assortment of wonderful goodies you know he’ll use. Be creative on the container. Remember, you want him to actually make use of the whole gift.

Every man has food and beverage favorites. Some men even like to cook. The traditional food gift basket may seem like an obvious choice, but you don’t need to fill this basket with the usual lineup – sausage, cheese, jams and fruit. Maybe your man loves nothing better than a good cup of Joe and oatmeal cookies. Give him what he likes!

Let’s say your guy does a lot of fishing. A big tackle box makes a macho presentation in this gift basket for men. Men who fish cannot have too many bait jars, lures, line and weights. A visit to the fishing section of any sports store reveals many interesting lures and types of bait.

Some men are after-shave and men’s cologne connoisseurs. They somewhat secretly collect new scents, with judicious dabs that hopefully wow the ladies. They like to experiment with different fragrances. Go to an upscale department store and engage the help of a clerk at the men’s counter. Let the clerk know you’re looking for unusual, designer or new after-shaves and colognes. These gift baskets for men can get pricey, but hey! He’s worth it. Get a sturdy rattan shelf style basket that can sit on a table or hang on the wall.

If he’s the scholarly type who’s always reading, there are what might be called book accessories. Try starting with an assortment of bookmarks and bookplates. If you’ve never shopped this market, you’ll be amazed at the beautiful products that are available. A magazine-style basket might be a good choice in this man’s gift basket. Tuck a bag of gourmet coffee or a bottle of his favorite liqueur inside and you’re set!

You can see that gift baskets for men can be customized to suit your man’s tastes. Look online for ready-made gift baskets for men. You’re sure to find something that’s just perfect!

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